I am not writing these articles as a righteous man but as one who has knowledge that should be shared with those who need it. After all, the value of knowledge is the ability to share it with others.
Every divorce has a reason or reasons that are responsible for its occurrence. In the first place it is the sad end of a marital relationship which is supposed to be life-long.
Let me start by stating that marriage was instituted by God himself who created the first human being Adam and gave him a wife, Eve, created out of Adam’s ribs. Adam described Eve as the bone of his bones and the flesh of his flesh, a relationship I like to describe as a spiritual hybrid. (Gen.2:22-23).
The Bible states that this is the reason why a man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and that they shall be one flesh (Gen.2:24). The wood cleave emphasises how strong and water-tight the marital union should be. This is repeated in Mark 10:7 & 8 which states: “for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleaves to his wife.
“And they two shall become flesh, so they are no more twain but one flesh.”
God also gives specific commandments to husband and wife.
To the wife: “Let not the wife departs from her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:106).
To the husband: “Let not the husband put away his wife (1 Corinthians 7:116).
Factors that give rise to divorce
I have no intention of casting a reproach on those who have divorced their partners. I am only trying to examine some of the causes with a view to encourage those who want to divorce to desist from it, because it is against God’s commandment.
It is necessary to find out about the family history and situation of your partner before you decide to get married. Otherwise unpleasant surprises may meet you that will cause separation or divorce.
Inadequate period of courtship
It is necessary to have a sufficient period of courtship during which you will study your partner. Otherwise you may marry a serpent or demon that will manifest only after marriage.
There was a case in which a man hastily married a very beautiful woman. On the first night of the wedding the woman woke the man up at midnight and asked: “Who is the head of this house?” The husband laughed and said, “Of course I am in charge.”
The woman said; “OK I will show you who is the head.” She immediately transformed herself into a fearful lion and asked the man again; “Who is the head of this house?” The man, trembling with fright, said “You are the head.” Early in the morning, the husband ran to his pastor and did not return home until serious deliverance prayers were conducted which finally drove the woman out of the house.
Not asking God to choose a partner for you
If you are a true believer you should prayerfully ask God to direct you to your right partner. Failure to do this may result in your choice of the wrong partner who will never give you peace.
Some people call it “love at first sight”. In this situation you find out that you don’t really love your partner from your heart. This can result in problems that may lead to separation or divorce.
Husband/Wife not performing their role
God speaks to the wives; “Wives submit yourselves to your husband as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and is the saviour of the body.
Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:22-25). When a husband decides to beat his wife, he has not only disobeyed God but has behaved like a mad man.
On the other hand, when a woman challenges the authority of the husband, she has also disobeyed God and her attitude is tantamount to a display of presumption, pride and arrogance.
If every husband and wife faithfully obey God’s prescribed rule for the home, there will be lasting peace in the home.
One of the things that causes problems leading to separation in the home is the sharing of domestic problems with outsiders. This includes your in-laws and friends. Husband and wife should learn to settle their domestic problems at home.
A certain couple had a serious quarrel at home and they decided to go to their pastor for settlement. When they arrived at the pastor’s house, they found the pastor fighting with his wife. So they decided to go back home and settle the matter between them.
Outside interference (especially relatives and so called friends) has contributed greatly to destroy homes. Wash your dirty linens at home.
Having immoral relationships outside marriage is one of the greatest causes of separation and divorce. This is especially common with men who establish illicit relationships outside. They know it is wrong but do it with impunity, all in the name of fleshly pleasures. They no more show love to their wives. Similarly many women now have extra partners outside the home. In both cases serious problems arise (including transmission of diseases) and these may lead to separation and divorce.
Finally, I want to admonish my fellow men and women to re-examine themselves in the light of the above causes, in the fear of God. It is not too late to retrace your steps.
Some day you will have to give account to God.
If you are divorced you can still swallow your pride and reconcile with your partner.